Between the cursing and shouting, when he stopped to take a breath, she hesitated to tell him how she really felt.
Instead, she listened as he poured out his anger never once admitting that he was not the only one hurting.
Once he hung up, she started to tell him everything.
On the day I made the decision to go with you; smiling at the newness of things, I hurt the first person who genuinely loved me. At that time I did not care, but now I know – ‘what’s taken for granted will eventually be taken away.’
As our newness heated up, I desired more and this resulted in frequent absences and so I missed homework, dinners, baths and bedtime prayers. I was told later on how she often cried herself to sleep, dreams filled with pain and suffering.
During the season, when we were deafened by rain beating the zinc, Nana sat helpless as the waters filled the verandah. Unable to walk she needed me to pull the shutters, but I was with you keeping your able body warm.
I hesitate to even think about; the time, the money, the waste…….But what good is hesitation, if hindsight isn’t clear.